The MacGuffin

In Junkie Nurse, a guy in medical scrubs, Eric, is driving a junked-out car around town, shooting up drugs (yes, while driving). He ends up hitting a guy who has escaped from an old folks home. He returns the old guy to the home and ends up in a job interview with the head nurse. I’m not even sure if that was planned or not. Apparently, the guy’s goal is to get into the pharmacy inventory. He ends up befriending the guy that he hit and they strike a deal to get Eric more drugs.

In Seventh Moon, a couple is spending their honeymoon in China. The movie opens at a street festival to honor the spirits of ghost legends, and they’re checking out the activities, burning papers with wishes/prayers on them, and sampling local food and drink. They meet back up with their tour guide/driver and he drives them into the country and gets lost. Their driver goes to find help at this old creepy house and doesn’t return after an hour, so the couple goes and looks for him in the dark.

In Summer Scars, some British kids skip school and wreak havoc about the town. Two of them steal a scooter from an old lady. Another of their friends carries his paraplegic brother into the woods with them. They hang out in the woods at a fort they’ve built and just have a good time during the summer. Two of them take off on the scooter and end up hitting a random guy in the woods.

A Necessary Death is a documentary about a documentary. Gilbert is doing a final thesis for film school in L.A.—it’s about suicide. Gilbert believes if you don’t cross a line in filmmaking, people are going to just overlook your work.

In Remarkable Power!, late-night talk show host Jack West (played by Kevin Nealon) is found dead at the beginning of the movie. The film flashes back to explain how we got to this point. And I assure you, it’s a complex story.

I was completely sucked in by the front of the DVD case with Dead Snow. Nazis AND Zombies? Sold! Then throw in some snow and the search for Nazi gold? How could this movie fail?

Dynamite Warrior (Kon Fai Bin)– In this Thai Martial arts films, some water buffalo herders (yes, Asian cowboys) are attacked by this random masked guy – Jong Bong Fei. He’s not an ordinary cattle rustler – he shoots giant bottle rockets at them and then rides a giant bottle rocket like a surfboard into the fray to kick even more ass. All of this, painfully CGI’d to anger me. He then whips all the cowboys’ shirts off – I’m hoping he’s looking for some sort of unique tribal mark or something, rather than just being creepy.

The Men Who Stare At Goats – This is a story about a reporter (Ewan McGregor) who interviews who he thinks is a crazy person (played by Stephen Root) who talks about being trained by the military to stare down animals and ultimately kill them with their minds. Some sort of telepathic soldiers. The reporter doesn’t believe him (at first), but sadly, the reporter’s wife leaves the report for his editor and in a desperate move, the reporter sends himself to Iraq. He tells his x-wife he’s joined the military, but he’s on his own dime.

I had wanted to see Human Centipede since I figured out the preview/trailer wasn’t a joke. Seriously, the drawing by the doctor as to what he’s trying to create is 1st-grade-art-class level stuff. Doctor sews three people together – there’s the plot. Alright, there’s a little more to it…

It is 1988, and there is small village in Uruguay that the Pope is coming to visit – a once in a lifetime event. The whole village is trying to figure out a way to capitalize on his visit – literally capitalize since they’re setting up food and craft booths to sell things to the tourists. One man figures with all the food being sold, clearly people will be in need of a toilet shortly after. Genius.