This will be the last Tomb article for a while. I’ve got to give myself more time to work on horror projects of my own. Thanks for reading. – John

A monster suit can make or break a horror film. With the right makeup effects and performer, something special can be done with a creature that’s been seen dozens of times. A mediocre film can even be partially redeemed by good monster effects. But even the best suit can’t overcome shots and lighting that reveal its deficiencies. If the performer bringing the creature to life doesn’t understand how to move and hide the reality of a rubber suit, this can also destroy the illusion. 1972’s made-for-TV film Gargoyles is well known in horror circles, mainly for its effects. It features the first ever makeup effects from the legendary Stan Winston (The Terminator, Aliens, Predator, Jurassic Park). His gargoyle suits not only terrified a generation of viewers, they also won him an Emmy. Nearly 40 years later, how well do these nightmare-inducing monsters hold up?

An effective opening montage catches viewers up on the history of gargoyles (or at least the history made up by the screenwriters). A narrator tells us the story of Satan’s fall from grace and banishment to hell. He talks of Satan’s struggle to take over the world and how his children, the gargoyles, will help turn the tide of battle. Every 500 years, the gargoyles are reborn and launch their attack on humanity. Although they have failed in the past, this time things will be different. This voice over is played over paintings and photographs that establish a spooky mood, not unlike an episode of In Search Of or Unsolved Mysteries. The fact that the narrator is voice by Vic Perrin, the control voice from the original Outer Limits series, definitely helps up the creep factor.

From here we meet our lead characters. Dr. Mercer Boley (Cornel Wilde, director and star of The Naked Prey) is an author who specializes in demonology. He’s researching his latest book on the history of demons while traveling through Arizona. Joining Dr. Boley is his daughter Diana (Jennifer Salt, 1973’s Sisters). Boley and Diana’s mother have been divorced for some time, so both father and daughter see this as a good time to reconnect and rejuvenate their relationship. Boley has been in contact with a local about information that could help the doctor with his book. He and Diana head off into the desert to find what is hopefully an exciting new artifact depicting demons.

Things end up a little differently than the Boleys expected when they end up at Uncle Willy’s roadside shack. Willy (Woody Chambliss, Gunsmoke) runs a tourist trap full of old knick-knacks and oddities (in other words, junk) that don’t impress the doctor. Just as Boley and Diana are about to leave, Willy tells them that the real reason he brought them out is to see something in his shack. The family gives him one last chance, and Willy doesn’t disappoint. In his shack are the skeletal remains of a gargoyle. Willy says that the remains were found in a nearby cave and he has a lifetime’s worth of stories about strange goings-on in the area that he wants to collaborate with Dr. Boley on in a new book. Before anyone can sign on the dotted line, gargoyles descend on the shack. In an intense sequence, the shack begins to rumble and large claws tear through the roof. Ceiling beams collapse, trapping Willy and causing an oil lamp to burst into flames. The Boleys manage to make it out of the shack with their lives and the gargoyle skull, but Willy is unable to be saved from the fire. As the two drive back towards town, a winged gargoyle tears apart the roof of their car before being thrown from the vehicle.

Dr. Boley decides to hide what happened from the police, because who would believe a gargoyle attack? As their car is repaired, the Boleys find themselves caught up in small town politics. A group of dirt bike riding hooligans (led by Scott Glenn, The Silence of the Lambs) are blamed for Willy’s death. Her conscience heavy, Diana tries to explain what really happened to the bikers. But no one believes her until the gargoyles descend on the motel room she is sharing with her father. In a series of exciting scenes, Diana is eventually kidnapped by the lead gargoyle (Bernie Casey, U.N. Jefferson from Revenge of the Nerds) and taken back to his lair. In a surprising turn from most genre films, as soon as Dr. Boley informs the authorities of what kidnapped Diana, they load up and join him on the gargoyle hunt. There are no scenes of disbelieving authority. It’s just, “You say your daughter’s been kidnapped by gargoyles? Let’s go get ‘um!”

(Cont.)

The Harry Potter series finally comes to a close. Some of us may know what will transpire in this film because we’ve read the book. But this is something different. After Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 there will be nothing left for us Potter fans. No new book to pore over, no new film to anticipate. It’s a sad feeling, but also a good one. It’s sad to know that we’ll never find out more about these characters we’ve grown to love. One the other hand, it’s a rare thing to feel so good about a long running series. The disappointing Sorcerer’s Stone aside, every one of these films has at the very least been a good way to spend two hours. Some of them have been very good films. While this finale doesn’t reach the heights of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (my vote for best film and book of the series), it is a very good film and one of the best I’ve seen this year.

When we last left Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Hermione (Emma Watson), and Ron (Rupert Grint), they were searching for the last remaining pieces of Voldemort’s (Ralph Fiennes) soul. Only when these horcruxes were all destroyed would they be able to defeat the dark wizard. This film begins immediately after the finale of Deathly Hallows Part 1. Voldemort has taken the powerful elder wand from Dumbledore’s (Michael Gambon) grave, in hopes it will give him the power to kill Harry Potter once and for all. Following this, we are treated to a couple of dialogue scenes which set up where the next horcrux might be found. After these initial 15 or so minutes, the film goes into action overdrive. By splitting the final book into two parts, director David Yates (helmer of every Potter film since Order of the Phoenix) was able to get all of the exposition into Part 1 and leave part two to be a two-hour action scene that wraps up the decade’s worth of films we’ve been watching.

I’m not the biggest proponent of elongated action scenes, but that’s because most films just have that and nothing else. Deathly Hallows 2 has none of those problems. We’ve grown to know and love these characters over the previous seven films. We know the story, we know the stakes, now it’s time for it all to come to a head. The battle of Hogwarts that acts as the climax of the film is every bit as epic as I imagined it when I read the book. Death Eaters and trolls storming the castle and the epic battle that ensues is one of the most breathtaking action scenes of recent memory. Interspersed through it all are fantastic character moments that are allotted to nearly everyone we’ve met over the last ten years. Neville Longbottom (played by Matthew Lewis) in particular gets some great scenes and nearly steals the film.

With any adaptation there will be scenes that fans are disappointed are changed in the film version. I honestly wasn’t bothered by things that were left out; what was left out was good for the book but would’ve slowed the film down too much. What bothered me with certain scenes in the film is that great moments in the book were handled poorly by both director Yates and writer Steve Kloves (who’s written every installment in the series with the exception of Order of the Phoenix). One such scene is the heartbreaking flashback that is my favorite moment in any of the books. The scene is still one of the film’s highlights, but felt a little too rushed for how important it was. More egregious is a fan favorite moment during the final battle. When I read one particular line of this sequence in the book, I literally cheered. The moment is still intact in the film, but it’s now made into an awkward fight scene instead of a heroic defense.

Then there’s the much discussed epilogue. I really loved this scene in the book and was happy it was included in the film. Honestly, it had to be there. J.K. Rowling came up with the perfect way to cap the series. It let us know what happened to our favorite characters without becoming a tease of more adventures (which I certainly hope never happen). The problem with the scene in the film is that, like the important flashback, it goes by a little too quickly. We needed more time to take it all in and appreciate what we were seeing. People complain about the ending of The Return of the King, saying that it went on too long. I’m not one of those people. After you spend 10+ hours with characters (nearly 20 in the case of Harry Potter), they deserve to get some closure. Deathly Hallows Part 2 could’ve done with a little bit more breathing room, so that we could feel the importance of these big moments the last ten years have been leading up to.

Those few criticisms aside, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is an enjoyable film. For me the entire series has been good films made out of great books. I don’t consider any one of the films to be perfect or nearly as good as any of the books. This film doesn’t reverse the trend, but it does end things on a high note. The two Deathly Hallows films sit just underneath Prisoner of Azkaban as the top tiers of the series. Even though this release is marred by unnecessary 3D (there’s nothing about it that stands out, just save the $4 and see it in 2D), it is one of the few times this year that a “summer movie event” actually lived up to its name.

Final Grade: B+

Every Saturday night the Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

I hate spiders. I’d rather be mugged than see a large spider in the same room as me. They are awful, alien-looking things that need to be stopped. “What’s the big deal?” You ask. “They kill insects for us…and the circle of life…blah, blah, blah.” I don’t care. Did you know that in Africa there are spiders the size of dinner plates? Fuck that. I think that the various nations of the world need to stop fighting amongst themselves and rally against the real enemy, the spider. Tonight’s film, Arachnophobia, shows just what can happen if we are to allow these terrible creatures to live. I don’t know about you, but I’d feel pretty bad knowing that a swarm of spiders attacked Jeff Daniels, all because we didn’t man up and wipe them out. Destroy the ecosystem, you say? You’re damn right I would.

This particular arachnid nightmare begins in the jungles of Venezuela. Dr. James Atherton (Julian Sands, the Warlock series) is on an expedition to find new species of insects and spiders. Along for the ride is photographer Jerry Manly (Mark L. Taylor, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids). While spraying the forest with a strong insecticide, the team discovers a very large, very aggressive new breed of spider. Being completely insane, they keep this spider as a specimen and make their way back to camp. Little do they realize that one of those horrible spiders has hitched a ride in their packs. Back at the camp, Jerry is bitten by the spider as it crawls under his bed sheets (sick!). He dies almost instantly and his body is shipped back to his hometown. Not wanting to stay tied down to one place for too long, the spider tags along inside the coffin.

The coffin arrives in town at the same time as Dr. Ross Jennings (Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber) and his family. The Jenningses are a big city family who have relocated from San Francisco because of a great job opportunity. The one doctor in town, Sam Metcalf (Henry Jones, Vertigo) is going to retire and leave all of his patients in Ross’s care. Unfortunately, Dr. Metcalf decides to postpone retirement soon after the Jenningses arrive in town. This leaves Ross with a new house to pay off, an office to rent, and no income. This aspect of the plot always stuck out to me because loss of financial stability is such a universal fear. Take out the killer spider and you’d still have a good drama about a guy who took a chance and ended up losing big. Through these scenes, we learn abut that townspeople and the Jennings family in an interesting and dramatic way.

But this IS a killer spider movie, so there has to be some spider killings. After mating with a common house spider, our killer arachnid gives birth to a new and deadly breed that spreads across the town. The script does a good job of always keeping you guessing about who will live and who will die. The nice old lady who is Ross’s only friend in town? First to go. The various jerks who give him a hard time? Some of them make it a lot longer than you’d expect. Each and every suspense scene is unique and will have arachnophobes squirming in their seats. Because of this film I now have to check for spiders every time I put on shoes, take a shower, and use the toilet.

(Cont.)

There is a universal relatability at the core of Horrible Bosses. No matter what kind of person you are or how well you’ve been brought up, there is a sentence that has crossed all of our minds at one point or another: “I’d like to kill that guy.” Now, it was probably thought in the heat of the moment after some asshole cut you off on the freeway. But the idea was there, if only for a split second. However, there are very few of us who would actually go through with such an idea. This fact is what makes Horrible Bosses a film that many people will be able to relate to, but one that doesn’t totally sell its convictions. The filmmakers are hoping that audiences will think “I hate my boss. Life would be so much easier if he was dead,” and that will be enough for them. Unfortunately they were so sure of their premise that they forgot to actually make it a convincing plot development that three ordinary guys would turn into murderers after little more than one drunken conversation.

The film begins with narration from each of our main characters. Nick (Jason Bateman, Juno) tells the story of how he came to be a desk jockey for the last eight years thanks to his asshole of a boss, Dave (Kevin Spacey, American Beauty). Constantly forced to stay late and take part in humiliating mind games, Nick has only stuck around this long because of a big promotion Dave has been dangling in front of his face. Nick’s friend Dale (Charlie Day, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) talks about his life as a dental assistant who has to deal with constant harassment by his sexually aggressive boss Julia (Jennifer Aniston, The Good Girl). Unlike his two friends, Kurt (Jason Sudeikis, Hall Pass) works at a job he loves. He tell us how much he enjoys being the right hand man to Jack (Donald Sutherland, National Lampoon’s Animal House), a great boss at a chemical company. Unfortunately, he has to deal with Jack’s son Bobby (Colin Farrell, In Bruges), a sleazy cokehead just waiting for his chance to take over.

After this effective sequence, the plot gets rolling. The promotion Nick was working so hard the past months for? Dave decides to take the position on himself, thus getting a bigger office and paycheck. The happiness Dale feels at his recent engagement? Taken away when Julia finds out and says she’ll blackmail him if he doesn’t have sex with her before the wedding. Kurt’s dream job? Turns into a nightmare when Jack dies and Bobby takes over. His first order of business: have Kurt fire either the fat girl or the guy in the wheelchair, because they make him sad. These events all coincide with one another, leading to a depressed night at the bar for our three friends. Over drinks they discuss how much better life would be if their respective bosses were out of the picture.

This aspect of the plot is handled well, with the boys deciding that they aren’t murderers, but might have the capacity to hire someone else to take care of their bosses. A drive into the bad part of town introduces them to the funniest character in the film, Motherfucker Jones (Jamie Foxx, Ray). They tell their story to Motherfucker and hope that he’ll do their dirty work. Unfortunately, he’s on probation and wants to keep his hands clean. Motherfucker decides that it’ll be best for everyone involved if he just acts as their murder consultant and gives them tips on committing the crimes. Here is where the film loses its sense of reality. The bosses have all been over the top creations, but our three leads have acted like normal people. Once they realize that they have to kill their bosses themselves, they accept it a bit too quickly. Within one scene they are scheming and surveying. These scenes are at times very funny, but since the film doesn’t sell their decision, it brings the plot further from the reality of the first act and more into the realm of a cartoon.

(Cont.)

Every Saturday night The Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

Gaston Leroux’s 1910 novel The Phantom of the Opera is a piece of horror literature history. It sits alongside Bram Stoker’s Dracula from 1897 and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from 1818. All have been adapted many times on film and hold places as members of the Universal monsters stable. What sets The Phantom apart is that it was the first of the three novels to be adapted into a feature length film, and it has never become a long-running franchise. Both Universal and Hammer Studios sequelized Dracula and Frankenstein to death, while Phantom has just been seen onscreen in over a dozen remakes. I’m a big fan of the Universal monsters and have seen nearly all of the films included in that unofficial series, but for some reason never got around to watching the two famous Phantom adaptations that the studio produced. I’ve read Leroux’s novel and enjoyed it very much, but as far as The Phantom on film goes, I’m way behind. In fact, the two versions I’ve seen are very different in style from all the others. I saw Joel Schumacher’s musical adaptation and quickly realized that I was not the right audience for it. Tonight I’ll be covering the slasher take on The Phantom that was released in 1989 and stars Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund.

The biggest change to the story of The Phantom in this film is that it opens in present day. Christine Day (Jill Schoelen, 1987’s The Stepfather) is a wannabe actress looking through an old library for the perfect operatic song to perform at an audition. Along for the ride is her friend Meg (Saturday Night Live’s Molly Shannon, in her first role). As the girls scour the shelves, Christine discovers a dust-covered manuscript entitled Don Juan Triumphant, by an unknown composer named Erik Destler. A song entitled “Your Eyes See But My Shadow” is just what Christine is looking for, and she takes the manuscript with her to the audition. As Christine sings the song in her audition, she starts to see flashes of an audience watching her. Suddenly, a sandbag swings loose and hits her on the head. When she comes to, Christine finds herself on a stage in 1881 London.

Now I’m not the biggest fan of “fantasy style” time travel. I like my time travel to make sense and have the characters find themselves back in time via a time machine or wormhole or something. I know some of you will think that all of it is ridiculous, but I believe a time-traveling DeLorean more than I believe a modern New York girl getting conked on the head and waking up in 19^th century London. But that’s not even the problem with this movie. The problem is that the Christine we’ve seen in the modern day scenes is a different person than the one we meet in 1881. They have the same name and look the same, but the Christine during the period portion of the film has no memory of her life in 1989. She acts as if she’s lived in 1881 the entire time and has memories of that life. This is just lazy writing. Obviously the modern day scenes were put in because the filmmakers didn’t believe audiences would want to see a 100% period piece film. But having the Christine of the past not be the same Christine we saw in the present makes the opening scenes all the more pointless. By the time things end up back in the modern day, this whole timeline conundrum is made all the more maddening. The production should’ve committed to telling a time travel story or just made a Phantom set in the modern day.

Anyway, once we’re in London (not sure why the location was changed from Paris like in the novel; maybe cost?), the plot pretty much follows along the same trajectory as all other versions of the story. Christine is an opera singer looking for her big break, and training and watching over her is Erik Destler, a.k.a. The Phantom (Robert Englund, A Nightmare on Elm Street series). The phantom is in love with Christine and will do anything to make her acting dreams come true. What sets this Phantom apart from the rest of his masked brethren is that he is not a deformed creature shunned by the world. Instead, he is a talented musician who one day sold his soul to Satan so that his music could be heard. After this deal was struck, the Devil decided to make it so that people would only ever love Erik’s music and so, he melts Erik’s face off. This addition (like the opening) doesn’t add much to the story, except for it sort of explains the Phantom’s supernatural abilities, and we get to see the sight of a midget with a caravan of prostitutes playing the Devil. I’m sure it was meant to be different than any Satan previously seen onscreen, but it comes across as even more ridiculous than it sounds.

(Cont.)

Every Saturday night The Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

Last week, in my review of The Howling, I noted that 1981 has been unofficially labeled “the year of the werewolf” by horror fans. During the summer months of that year, we saw the release of arguably the two greatest werewolf films ever made: The Howling and An American Werewolf in London. But there was another werewolf film released that year that isn’t as well remembered as those 80s classics. Coming out in between those celebrated releases was Michael Wadleigh’s Wolfen. One look at the behind-the-scenes talent of the film indicates that something different is afoot with this particular werewolf tale. It’s the only narrative feature from the director of celebrated documentary Woodstock, and is based on a novel by self-confessed alien abductee Whitley Strieber (Communion). Inspired by last week’s rewatch of The Howling, I decided to finally watch Wolfen and complete my viewing of the 1981 werewolf trifecta.

As the film opens, we see wealthy heir Christopher Van Der Veer taking part in a groundbreaking ceremony in the middle of a despondent ghetto in Brooklyn. Politicians and other lookers-on clap and celebrate, but no one seems to notice that something else is watching the ceremony. We then see a shot from the POV of the uninvited guest. Low to the ground and seeing not color, but heat, this spectator spies on Van Der Veer as he and his wife get in a limo and drive away. As they drives across the Brooklyn Bridge, a trio of Native Americans led by Eddie Holt (Edward James Olmos, Blade Runner) throws beer bottles at their vehicle. A romantic stop in the park doesn’t end the night on a high note. As the couple joke around, they and their bodyguard are savaged by an unseen killer whose heat-tinted POV we view the slayings from.

The next morning, Dewey Wilson (Albert Finney, Murder on the Orient Express) is called to the scene of the crime. Dewey isn’t your average cop. He recently went through some family troubles, which led to him hitting the bottle a little too hard. We aren’t told exactly what problems his family had. Seemingly important character background like that isn’t important in this movie. We do get a sense of his off-kilter world view when he shows up at the crime scene scarfing down junk food and struggling to keep his shaggy hair out of his eyes. He continues to eat when he accompanies the bodies to the morgue, where his friend Whittington (the late Gregory Hines, History of the World: Part I) is a mortician. Dewey spends much of the film going over the case with Whittington. They are old friends and have banter like you might see in a buddy cop film. This makes it seem odd when the script assigns him with a partner, Rebecca Neff (Diane Venora, Michael Mann’s Heat). The two aren’t on screen together as much as Dewey and Whittington, so Rebecca never evolves above anything more than being “the girl” in the film.

As the investigation progresses, Whittington discovers that the attacker who killed the Van Der Veers and their bodyguard wasn’t using a weapon of any kind. No metal residue was found on the bodies which would point to a knife or similar object being used. The friends make their way to the zoo, where they inquire about the wounds with Dr. Ferguson (Tom Noonan, The Monster Squad). Since he’s played by Tom Noonan, Ferguson is a weird guy who seems absolutely enthralled by the animals he cares for. He also has a hefty taxidermy collection in his office, which you would think he’d be against since his profession is keeping animals healthy. It’s an interesting character, one against type for Noonan, who usually plays the heavy (like he did memorably in Manhunter and Last Action Hero). Ferguson discovers that the flesh has been ripped, which leads him to guess that the people were killed by an animal. Most likely a wolf.

If this was all there was to the story, things would be pretty straight ahead for the werewolf subgenre. The story is coming from a more police procedural perspective, but the beats it hits are familiar. What sets Wolfen apart is that co-writer/director Wadleigh is making a socio-political statement with his film. That’s right, Wolfen is a horror movie with a message, a la Prophecy (1979). Part of Dewey’s investigation leads him to the group of Native Americans who we saw chuck a beer bottle at Van Der Veers’ limo in the opening sequence. The first time he confronts the group, it’s as they work high on the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s quite a sight seeing Finney and Olmos exchange dialogue with all of Manhattan in the background. You can feel every delicate step Finney takes in this sequence, making it just as suspenseful as the random wolf attack scenes. In this scene, Eddie mentions to Dewey that it’s possible for his people to turn into animals. Later in the film, Dewey finds himself in an Indian bar, and he’s told about a secret society called The Wolfen. These powerful beings have kept themselves hidden for centuries, but have suffered the same tragedies as the Native Americans.

(Cont.)

Every Saturday night The Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

I love werewolves. They are my favorite movie monsters, beating out the more popular faves, vampires and zombies. Maybe it’s because there haven’t been a ton of werewolf films. Vampires and zombies are easy for no-budget films to pull off, so we see A LOT of films about them. It’s a little harder to turn a person into a giant wolf, so we don’t have to worry about quite as many terrible werewolf films being out there. In 1981, we got no fewer than three big werewolf releases, all of them bringing something different to the subgenre and bringing the monsters into the modern day. The first out of the gate was Joe Dante’s The Howling. This low budget effort featured the first use of prosthetic effects to turn a man into a werewolf and show the beast with more than just gluing hair to an actor’s face. A short four months later, these effects would be outdone by the amazing work done by Rick Baker in An American Werewolf in London. That seems to be the fate of The Howling—always the werewolf bridesmaid, never the bride. In a world where American Werewolf is widely regarded as the best werewolf film, does The Howling earn its second place reputation, or is it the underrated king of the werewolf pile?

As the film opens, news reporter Karen White (Dee Wallace, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial) is involved in a sting operation to capture serial killer Eddie Quist (Robert Picardo, Gremlins 2: The New Batch). For the last few weeks, Eddie has been leaving a trail of mangled bodies throughout L.A. and contacting Karen. Now Karen finds herself walking along a sleazy strip, heading to a porn shop where she’s agreed to meet Eddie. Police patrol the area, keeping a lookout for the murderer. Karen ends up in a video booth at the back of the store. Eddie is already inside the booth, behind Karen. He puts a quarter in the machine and a rape video begins to play on the screen in front of them. As the disturbing scene plays out in front of her, Karen has to listen to Eddie tell her that she’s the only person who understands him and he has something to show her. Karen turns around and is so shocked by what she sees off camera that she screams. This signals the police, who have arrived in the porn shop, to open fire at the booth, killing Eddie.

Following this traumatic experience, Karen struggles to put her life back together. She’s plagued by nightmares of Eddie in the booth and can’t stand to be touched by her husband Bill (the late Christopher Stone, Wallace’s real life husband). A few days later she tries to go back on the air, but she freezes under the bright lights and cameras. Her station manager, Fred Francis (the late Kevin McCarthy, 1956’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers), doesn’t want her to go back on until her personal problems are figured out. Karen ends up talking with Dr. George Waggner (Patrick Macnee, John Steed from TV’s The Avengers), a psychiatrist who is featured on her network.

Dr. Waggner recommends that Karen and Bill head out to his countryside resort called The Colony. There, they will interact with other patients who are looking to get their lives back together. The Colony ends up not being exactly what Karen and Bill were expecting. They are surrounded by bizarre individuals, including a suicidal old man (the late John Carradine, Dracula in many classic Universal horrors) and a nymphomaniac named Marsha (the late Elisabeth Brooks, 1988’s Deep Space) who starts to make moves on Bill. Karen tries to work out her problems with therapy sessions while Bill is forced to pal around with the locals on a hunting trip. But there is something else going in the woods surrounding The Colony. Cows in the surrounding farmland are found massacred, and late at night a strange howling fills the night air…

There is definitely more to The Howling than that. But the script, co-written by indie favorite John Sayles (who wrote director Joe Dante’s previous film, 1978’s Piranha) has enough twists and turns that I don’t want to spoil everything for those who haven’t seen it. Based on the cover art and the film’s legacy, we know that eventually werewolves show up. What sets this film apart from most of the werewolf subgenre is that the monsters featured here are not of the reluctant variety. They actually are happy to be werewolves and see humans as their cattle. Another interesting twist on the classic mythology is that in most werewolf films we only see the transformation happen under the full moon. As explained by the great Dick Miller (Night of the Creeps), these werewolves can change “anytime they get a notion to it, that’s why they’re called shapeshifters.” This gives us terrifying sequences where werewolves stalk our main characters throughout the woods in the middle of the day. It’s not something I want to see in every werewolf film (I’m a believer in sticking with the classic mythology for monsters), but a werewolf during the day is a scary idea and makes for the film’s biggest scares.

(Cont.)

Every Saturday night The Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

Death is scary. When you get right down to the basics of it, that’s what makes a horror film work. People don’t want to die. They are afraid of death. So when a character is put in a life-threatening situation in a film, you are afraid for them. Usually, a couple of characters fighting for their lives is enough for a horror film. Tonight’s film, 1984’s Night of the Comet, isn’t content with putting a couple of characters in peril. Instead, the film concerns the end of the world and wipes out the entire human race. For me, the end of the world is a much more horrifying concept than just my own death. So, an apocalyptic horror film should be a very depressing thing. What Night of the Comet manages to do is turn the apocalypse into a fun 80s party where bad fashion goes hand in hand with Uzis. The fact that it manages to end humanity and still be a fun ride is very impressive, but it also manages to do it on a low-budget. And while the film isn’t perfect, you have to respect writer/director Thom Eberhardt (Captain Ron) for aiming for the fences and not being content with the same old, same old of low-budget horror filmmaking.

The film begins with a cheesy voiceover telling us about a comet that is about to pass the Earth for the first time in millions of years. The last time this happened, we are told, was when the dinosaurs mysteriously vanished. I’m not usually a fan of a narrator who isn’t a character in a story (actually I’m not the biggest lover of narration, period), but this intro and the following titles expertly set up a film that is aware of its B-movie status. After this brief sequence, we see people gathered in the streets excitedly awaiting the passing of the comet through the night sky. I guess they didn’t hear that narration…

We are then introduced to our lead character, Regina (Catherine Mary Stuart, Weekend at Bernie’s). Regina is a valley girl who works as an usher at a movie theater. She spends all of her time playing arcade games in the lobby instead of actually doing work. Her manager (Stanley Brock, Uncle Harvey from UHF!) tells her that she has to take her job seriously and she can’t just do whatever she wants. Regina is bummed that she’s missing out on seeing the comet and is instead stuck at work. Once she’s off, she heads up to the projection booth to meet her boyfriend Larry (Michael Bowen, the ill-fated Buck from Kill Bill Vol. 1). Instead of heading out to one of the many comet parties around town, Larry wants Regina to stay in the projection booth with him all night. He has plans to make some easy money by illegally renting out the theater’s 3D film print of It Came from Outer Space for the night. To do this, he has to be in the booth at the beginning of the night to hand it off and early the next morning to pick it up. He convinces Regina to stay with him and help him pass the time.

As Regina’s night is slowing down, her younger sister Samantha’s (Kelli Maroney, Chopping Mall) is going off the rails. She’s stuck at home at a comet party being thrown by her wicked stepmother Doris. Dad is out of town, and Samantha doesn’t react too kindly when she sees Doris hitting on Chuck from next door. “You already have an asshole, Doris,” Samantha tells her stepmother. “You don’t need Chuck.” This hilarious barb ends with the stepmom and daughter getting into a fistfight and Samantha running off into the night.

The next morning, Regina and Larry wake up to find that they were never called about the film being returned. An angry Larry storms out of the projection booth, only to be promptly killed by a zombie. Regina soon comes looking for him and finds herself under attack by the same ghoul. She fights her way to safety and drives off on Larry’s motorcycle. As she drives through the valley, she realizes that everything about the world she once knew has changed. The streets are devoid of people and empty cars litter the freeway. The sky is now orange instead of blue, and piles of dust are now all that is left of the population. Regina heads home to try to find out if anyone in her family has survived. Back home, she finds Samantha wandering back from a night spent in a storage shed. The two girls then embark on a quest to find any other survivors, while avoiding the zombies that the comet’s radiation has created.

A great thing that Night of the Comet does is do unexpected things that still make sense. After being told that the world has just ended, Samantha blows it off. It sounds crazy. Regina has to shake her and drag her outside to convince Samantha that the unthinkable has happened. In so many other movies, characters accept ridiculous things immediately or take forever to believe them, straining credibility. In Comet, that right balance is struck and is helped by the script’s sharp sense of humor. As Regina shakes her and yells “everybody’s gone,” Samantha’s reply is “you made my swallow my gum!” Once the fate of humanity has been accepted by the characters, we don’t get thirty minutes of them weeping for what they’ve lost. The girls are allowed to grieve, but when the world has just ended and there are zombies about, survival is the first thing on their minds. After hearing a DJ still playing on a car radio, they head to the local radio station to look for survivors. The DJ is, of course, just a recording (haven’t they seen American Graffiti?), but this leads them to Hector (Robert Beltran, Star Trek: Voyager), a nice truck driver trying to get to his mother’s house. It also puts them in harm’s way, as Samantha’s messing with the radio equipment is overheard by an evil military installation made up of actors from B-movies, including Mary Woronov (Death Race 2000) and Geoffrey Lewis (1979’s Salem’s Lot).

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Lately I’ve been trying to make sure I’m caught up on the big films of 2011. That means for this week’s column you’ll see an abundance of summer sequels. Some of these enhanced characters we had met before now continue their stories in new and interesting ways. Others…not so much.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

I am a longtime fan of the X-Men. Professor X and his band of mutants sit only behind Spider-Man on my list of favorite superheros. The last few years have been hard on X-Men fans, as they bore witness to the film series running itself into the ground. But X-fans can breathe a sigh of relief. Mathew Vaughn’s X-Men: First Class improves upon the disappointing X-Men: The Last Stand and the abysmal X-Men Origins: Wolverine to put the series back on track. Predominantly set in 1962, First Class tells the story of how Professor X (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) first met and joined together with other mutants to form the X-Men. As with any prequel, there are many contradictions with the rest of the film series (even if you ignore the last two films, there are plenty of errors here). What makes First Class arguably the best prequel to date is not what it does wrong, but what it gets right. By taking place so far before the other films, there is a lot of room for surprises and not just “oh, that’s why he’s mean”-type observations. We know that eventually Professor X will be crippled and Magneto will turn on him, no big surprises there. More interesting is the depth given to previously underdeveloped characters. How we grow to care about future villainess Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) and Beast (Nicholas Hoult) and their would-be love story was my favorite aspect of the film.

Of course, there will be supporting mutants who get short drift, but that’s happened in all of the X-films. Besides those I’ve already mentioned, none of the early X-Men are given much beyond their powers. Faring worse are the villains of the Hellfire Club. Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) gets a meaty role as the big bad and his right-hand woman Emma Frost (January Jones) gets plenty of screen time even though she’s imbued with no personality. That last one isn’t the fault of the writing though. Jones doesn’t seem interested at all in what’s going on around her and gives possibly the worst X performance yet. As for the rest of the evil comrades, you’ll have a hard time even remembering their names. Although the film never reaches the heights of parts one and two, it is packed with enough interesting character moments and exciting action to keep a superhero enthusiast happy.

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

The original Kung Fu Panda was a wonderful surprise. I went in expecting a typical Dreamworks animated film full of pop culture references and bodily fluid jokes. Instead I got an awesome kung fu film with a sharp sense of humor and endearing characters. It felt more like something Pixar would make and towered above all other Dreamworks Animation productions. Luckily, this sequel continues on the path laid by the first. Instead of a Shrek the Third, we get something more akin to Toy Story 2. Po (Jack Black) is now known all over Japan as the Dragon Warrior. He fights alongside the Furious Five and keeps the country safe. But an evil peacock, Lord Shen (Gary Oldman), has harnessed an evil weapon that is impervious to kung fu and he intends to use it to reclaim his place as a ruler of Japan. Using this plot, director Jennifer Yuh crafts what is thus far the best action film of the summer. The humor is still evident, but it has been scaled back in favor of exhilarating fights and uncovering more about Po’s backstory. This is a rare animated sequel that nearly equals its predecessor. The only things holding it back are a less engaging story and villain than in part one. The animation is gorgeous throughout, and I feel it’ll be hard for any other animated film this year to top this. If Cars 2 ends up as mediocre as it looks, then maybe Kung Fu Panda will finally walk away with an Oscar come next February.

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Every Saturday night The Tomb of Terror opens, unleashing reviews of the obscure and the classic in horror cinema.

At one time, John Landis was on one of the best rolls of any comedy director. Following the cult success of Kentucky Fried Movie in 1977, he made the comedy classics National Lampoon’s Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Trading Places, and my vote for best horror film of all time, An American Werewolf in London. Then Twilight Zone: The Movie happened. We’ve all heard the story. Vic Morrow and two illegally-hired child actors were killed when a special effect went bad and caused a helicopter to fall from the sky. Even though Landis was acquitted of all charges related to the incident, it has haunted him his entire career since. He still managed a couple of hits after this incident, including the iconic music video for Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and the Eddie Murphy vehicle Coming to America. Unfortunately, his 90s output mainly consisted of failure (Beverly Hills Cop III) after failure (The Stupids) after failure (Blues Brothers 2000). Burke and Hare, which is playing as part of the 2011 Seattle International Film Festival, is his first narrative feature in twelve years and is also his best in nearly twenty.

The time is 1828. The place is Edinburgh, Scotland. Changes are happening in medicine and the understanding of the human body that’ll change the world forever. Leading the way in this research are two feuding doctors, Doctor Robert Knox (Tom Wilkinson, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and Doctor Monro (Tim Curry, The Rocky Horror Picture Show). For many months these two doctors have been working on understanding the anatomy of the human body for the first time in history. After a criminal has been executed, whoever can pay off the executioner first will be able to have their way with the dead body. This rivalry gets taken up a notch when Dr. Munro uses his political influence to make it so that only he has access to the fresh bodies. Dr. Knox is suddenly faced with the possibility of not being able to continue his research, since there don’t seem to be enough dead bodies to go around.

Enter William Burke (Simon Pegg, Shaun of the Dead) and William Hare (Andy Serkis, The Lord of the Rings trilogy). These two roommates and best friends are down on their luck and just about out of cash. When Hare’s wife Lucky (Jessica Hynes, Pegg’s co-star on the TV show Spaced) informs the boys that one of their boarders has died, it seems as if it’s the end of the line. Without a boarder to pay rent, they are broke and will be thrown out of their home. But then ingenuity strikes, and the boys stuff the boarder’s body into a barrel and deliver it to Doctor Knox. He pays them handsomely for their specimen and says that he’ll take any others they can bring for the same price.

Burke and Hare happen upon some more expired peoples, but the well of dead bodies lying around soon dries up. In order to stay afloat, the boys turn to killing people in order to provide Doctor Knox with bodies. Burke is understandably squeamish about the proposition of murdering for a living. But then he meets an aspiring actress (Isla Fisher, Wedding Crashers) looking for funding for an all-female version of Macbeth. Burke realizes that if he is to keep this woman in his life, he’ll have to continue his new vocation and fund her play. Hare and Lucky are much more comfortable with being murderers and don’t want anything to get in the way of their new business venture.

If the above sounds like the ingredients for a dramatic tragedy, then you’re right. The film is based off of a horrible true story from the 19^th century where normal men turned into murderers just to make a buck. However, the film itself has a different agenda: it wants to make you laugh. Landis and his writers have turned the story of Burke and Hare into a dark comedy. They show you their hand right in the opening titles, which read “This is a true story, except for the parts that are not.” This is not an exposé on real life murderers; it is a morbid comedy made by one of the masters of that genre. Landis showed with An American Werewolf in London that he is able to balance the horrific and the comedic better than nearly any other director. If Burke & Hare doesn’t live up to those lofty standards, it’s not for lack of trying.

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